Unusual Traditions
by InzanityFirez
Summary: A very demanding princess with a zeal for Christmas tradition leaves McCoy and Spock with a diplomatic dilemma when they end up under the mistletoe. Not to mention a very amused Captain of the Enterprise.


**I'll probably get shot for this. I don't usually start off my career writing fanfiction in a certain series with a snippet of romance, but I couldn't resist after watching the episode Mirror, Mirror. The one where Mirror-Spock grabs McCoy and watches him oh-so-intently as he backs him up against a wall. XD Ah well, fangirl's prerogative. **

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"Oh this is really the most wonderful thing! What a grand tradition this Christmas is!"

Dr. Leonard McCoy fought a grimace as the princess gushed yet again over the holiday. A holiday which, by the way, she had organized completely against tradition. Rather than a Christmas tree, she'd arranged a golden pole decorated with jewel ornaments, and while there were certainly presents, they were all arranged for _her_. As for Christmas songs, they had been replaced with songs idolizing the princess' 'great beauty'. And truly, she was beautiful, but her spoiled, overly-loud, entirely dramatic personality had worn thin since their arrival two days prior.

Luscias was a mineral-rich planet that the Federation wanted to add into the fold, and it's current monarch, in lieu of her presently absent father, was Princess Lirsa. As it happened, with Christmas close at hand and a too-talkative ensign in her path, she'd latched onto the idea of Christmas and made it her own in the two days they had been present.

"Yes, a grand tradition." Agreed Captain James Kirk as he forced a smile from beside her. He'd been trying to speak of an alliance, or at least arrange a meeting with her father who was due to soon return from military business, but she'd done nothing but chatter incessantly and make demands. He didn't have such time to spare, but nor could he insult the princess and jeopardize the operation. "But Princess, if I may, I must ask again that-"

"Oh, do cease on those matters! We're celebrating this evening, Captain Kirk!" The Princess batted her eyes as she smiled coyly. "You wouldn't want to spoil my fun, would you?"

Kirk tried to keep the sarcasm out of his voice as he replied simply. "I wouldn't dream of it, Princess." He glanced to the empty doorway and then to McCoy. "McCoy, why don't you go and check on Spock's progress." Spock had been spared the celebration in favor of speaking with the country's head general, in the hopes of coming to a pre-arrangement in the way of an alliance.

McCoy praised every God whose name he could think of for the brief reprieve from _her majesty _and inclined his head.

"Oh, you can't leave yet! Let that silly pointy-eared fellow deal with the boring things!"

McCoy kept his voice even as he replied with a smile. "Ah well, I'm not terribly exciting myself. And the Captain would have my hide if I failed to follow his orders. You'll excuse me." he gave a short bow, and the princess pouted slightly before she smiled winningly at Kirk.

"I suppose I wouldn't want to render you ineffective as a Captain, Mr. Kirk." It was clear that Bones was quickly forgotten, she was enamored of Kirk and the others present in the room were just lucky to bask in her grace, as far as she was concerned.

"That would be a shame, Princess. I'm rather fond of the position." Kirk shot McCoy a 'save me' look that he made sure the princess didn't see, and McCoy fought a smirk as he passed to the door just as someone else did.

McCoy found himself looking slightly up at the Enterprise's first officer, Spock.

"Dr. McCoy." he said simply, and before McCoy could reply, Kirk piped up from behind them.

"Ah, Mr. Spock. I just sent McCoy to look for you, were you able to arrange a meeting-"

"Ah! How wonderful! I've been dying to see that little plant work. Marvelous." The princess clapped her hands together as she rose and motioned for Spock and McCoy who presently stood side-by-side in the doorway.

"I-I'm sorry?" McCoy was confused, and though Spock remained expressionless, McCoy suspected that he too was at a loss.

Spock, ever vigilant, was prepared to ignore the interruption as he regarded his captain. "The meeting has been arranged, and-"

"The plant!" The princess made a dismissive gesture. "You must follow your tradition. I wish to see it enacted."

"I'm afraid I don't understand." McCoy shot a glance at Kirk, who seemed equally baffled before the princess pointed above their heads.

Spock glanced upwards and announced tonelessly. "Mistletoe."

"Yes! That's it! Mistletoe, you're supposed to kiss underneath it." she seemed excited even to speak of it. "Well, go on!"

Spock's brow rose slightly as he and McCoy shared a glance before McCoy choked out. "You can't be serious...you have an...interesting sense of humor, Princess."

"I am quite serious. I intend to see all traditions carried out to the letter. You two are under the, what was it? Mistletoe! Therefore, you must kiss."

"Now, Princess..." Kirk had risen to intercede and he stepped somewhat between her and his officers. "That's not the way it works, these are both men, the tradition is intended for a man and a woman and only in fun. It's not required, you see."

The princess' lips curved into a frown. "This is my kingdom, and my Christmas. It _is_ required, no matter who it is."

Kirk was trying to be patient, but she could wear out a saint. "And these are my officers, I must ask you to reconsid-"

"No! They _will_ kiss! I demand it!" The princess stomped a foot.

"Now see here-" McCoy started before Kirk interrupted.

"Princess-"

"No! I will have this done! If you defy me, I will hear of no alliance! This is my kingdom!" The princess glared. "You will do as I say, or you will leave."

Kirk quickly filtered through possible ends to this situation that didn't involve her ire or humiliating his top officers, his friends, but Spock solved the problem as usual.

"As the princess commands." Spock said in monotone as he promptly grabbed McCoy by the shoulders and turned him about. McCoy had just enough time for his eyes to widen before Spock's lips were pressed against his own in a firm kiss.

The fellow attending crewmen in the room made noises of surprise, and Kirk's jaw dropped just slightly.

Spock pulled away and McCoy stared up at the Vulcan in shock. Spock met McCoy's gaze for a brief second before he looked to the princess. "I trust that that was satisfactory?"

The princess beamed, all smiles once more. "Of course! What a wise man you are, Mr. Spock! Simply marvelous! Well come in, come in!" she all but danced back to her table.

McCoy, Spock, and Kirk stood in the doorway a moment more and Kirk glanced between the officers before he coughed as he addressed Spock. "Your...dedication to the mission is appreciated and duly noted, Mr. Spock."

"You...you kissed me!" McCoy hissed as he rubbed his lips furiously, the situation having quite caught up to him.

"It was necessary to avoid a diplomatic dissolution, Dr. McCoy."

"You kissed me!"

"I believe you have already stated that, Doctor. I would appreciate it if you did not mention it a third time."

"That you kissed McCoy, you mean?" Kirk, having gotten over the shock himself, was finding amusement in it now.

"Precisely, Captain."

"I see...you realize I will have to note it in my report...to properly note your dedication?"

"I would appreciate it if you did not do that either, Captain. It is not a distinction that I am particularly proud of, nor that Star Fleet would term as necessary information."

"Jim, if you speak of this to anyone...you're going to be developing a serious case of the chicken-pox during your next check-up."

Kirk smiled innocently. "Is that a threat, Doctor?"

"That's a promise." McCoy growled, and Kirk chuckled.

"You know, it's not me that you have to worry about." Kirk motioned to the still wide-eyed crewmen 'celebrating'.

"Kill me now." McCoy groaned.

"Doctor, why should you wish to be killed? As the chief medical officer of the Enterprise, your life is of great value-"

"-Kissed by a machine. That's what it was." McCoy muttered.

"Do you often respond to a machine with physical stimulation, Doctor?" Spock queried, in his particular, sly way. "You did seem to be responding to the gesture in kind."

Something dangerously close to a blush found it's way to McCoy's cheeks as Kirk raised a brow. "Crazy, green-blooded hobgoblin." he growled before he promptly turned. "Absolutely mad." he added as he stalked back to the table.

Kirk chuckled again before he regarded Spock. "Why, Mr. Spock, you've made a joke. I'm proud of you."

Spock stared at him simply. "I was not joking, Captain. Dr. McCoy did respond to the gesture in kind."

"Ah..." Kirk let his gaze fall a moment as he processed that before he cleared his throat and put a hand on Spock's shoulder as he steered him towards the table. "Well, I suppose we can keep this out of the report."

"Thank you, Captain."

Spock and Kirk rejoined the table and the princess was in the middle of babbling on excitedly. McCoy shot a glare at Spock, who merely raised his brow slightly in reply. Kirk, for his part, fought the urge to laugh even as he had to wonder a little at Spock's assessment. And although he hadn't noted it, Spock's kiss had seemed to last slightly longer than might have been necessary.

Yes, Kirk decided, this event could be categorized as unnecessary information. For Star Fleet, anyway.

He, on the other hand, was going to enjoy poking fun at his officers.

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**Okay, okay, this was a dorky snippet. And not terribly romantic, but it implied that McCoy and Spock both enjoyed it despite their respective protests and such. XD Kirk meanwhile is a cross between 'what the...?' and 'muwaha'. XD _ And those poor crewman are scarred for life. XD **


End file.
